Thursday, April 12, 2007

How To Be A Republican...

...in three easy Karl Rove steps, as interpreted by Paul Wolfowitz.



1) Move seamlessly from one high-profile job as architect of the Bush Administration's use of Weapons of Mass Destruction as a justification for invading Iraq, to another as head of the World Bank--a job having seemingly nothing in common with the last one except for profile and salary--being sure to say all the right things to gain your appointment. Specifically, be sure and talk up your expertise at fighting corruption and impropriety.

2) Immediately upon taking office, work contrary to your stated goals, giving your girlfriend, who by bank rules is not eligible to work under you, a new job with a pay raise over double that allowed by bank rules--nearly $200,000 to be a bank staffer--meanwhile publicly cracking the anti-corruption whip on everyone else.

3) When your deception is found out, pay lip service to doing some kind of investigation, and then go after those who have exposed you with a Mafia-like fury. Engage in a holding action until public attention moves on to the next Republican scandal. Continue as usual.
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Once again I find that I have no particular enthusiasm for Democrats, but in this environment I don't understand how Democrats would not receive 90% of the votes in an election. At the very least, I wonder that there is not a fuming outrage from that part of the Republican Party that doesn't favor this atmosphere of lies and corruption and educational oblivion.

Or by definition is there no such animal?

4 comments:

Jeffy said...

It seems that a big part of the process is a systematic persecution and purging of those who do not share your point of view. Most Republican supporters only do so because they have been duped into thinking that pledges for lower taxes apply to them, when in reality it is only the extremely wealthy see a difference.

Plus, the party faithful are pros at waving the flag and professing patriotism. Anyone who speaks out against Republican misdeeds as by definition a traitor.

It is all part of a distorted reality where logic doesn't belong and loyalty is valued above all else.

green_canary said...

I have decided to start my own political party. It's platform will be mahogany and there will be an endless supply of liquor.

Dante said...

I suspect that any political party, by virtue of the fact that it is a political party, is overflowing with corruption.

wunelle said...

I suspect you're right--power corrupts, etc. And I guess no one has cornered the market for claiming virtue in their actions. I mean, NO politician says "this is great for me and mine, and, well, the rest of you can pound sand." But the penchant for the Right--especially in the modern incarnation of close alliance with their Jesus Figure--to wrap themselves with a cloak of moral righteousness makes their human failings more intolerable.