Monday, October 17, 2005

I Got Nothin'

"Listen, if it ain't my business I got not a thing to say."

I thought about, in the absence of anything substantive to blog about, making lists of things about myself, like I've seen on so many sites.

But 100 things? I can't even think of 20 distinct things about me, let alone 100. Unless we count each pound of excess weight I've been carrying for 35 years. THAT would get me considerably closer. But I suppose they need to be interesting things, so I'm stuck again.

I thought about strange and diverse jobs I have held:
--motorcycle salesman
--sleazy supper-club small combo drummer
--taxi driver
--city bus driver
--bartender (not an odd job, except that I'm a teetotaller)
--flight instructor
--miniature golf & resort groundskeeper
--drug store clerk

--Oh, yeah: airline pilot

Less than 10. How about strange foods I like?
--peanut butter & Miracle Whip sandwiches

OK, that's the only strange food item I could think of. I'm batting zero.

Favorite movies? Already in the Blogger profile.

Favorite pieces of music? Yeah, so long as I also label the list "Effective General Population Sleep Aid."

Like I said: I got nuttin'.


mango said...

What about unusual sexual positions? Embarrassing things that you've done?

How about naming each excess pound on your body, giving it a personality then telling us all about them? That would be interesting. In a car-crash 'man, look at the mentalist' -type way.

Go on.

Do it.

You know you want to.

Lizzie said...

I hear ya, Wunelle. I'm completely blogged-out today. Tapped dry.

wunelle said...

Gladys. I'm naming them all Gladys. Like George Foreman. Gladys 1, Gladys 2, etc., etc.

Biographies to follow.

OK, not really.

Unusual sexual positions? Embarrassing things I've done? Are you saying these things are correlated?

My wife would probably read you the ingredients off a Wonder Bread bag. Sounds exotic and confusing, but in reality is utterly mundane!

Hey, but I'm a nice guy...

wunelle said...

Looks like I may have a couple days of drought. Parents were in town for the weekend, and now another friend is here for Mon-Wed. Plus, we've had a bit of a medical emergency on my wife's family's side; it's under control now, but may tax all of us a wee bit.

I fear for the safety of the world, what with my not blogging and all. It's really a wonder that everyone survived all this time up to August without my blog!

derek said...

Top three slogans I'd like to give myself:
* Maximum protection against viscosity and thermal breakdown.
* We know why you fly.
* Hooray Beer!

Favorite three lines from Miller's Crossing:
* Sister, when I've raised hell you'll know it.
* I know what you are. Straight as a corkscrew. Mr. Inside-Outsky. Like a gooddamned Bolshevik picking up your orders from Yegg central.
* What were you going to do if you caught me? I'd just squirt a few and then you'd let me go again.

Joshua said...

Peanut Butter and Miracle Whip? Bil, are you pregnant?



wunelle said...

Even better is her withering dismissal of him:

"I suppose you think you've raised hell!"

Or love from The Dane:

"Shut up!!... Or maybe you still got too many teeth."

Or my buddy Johnny Caspar:

"Whaddya mean he's eating too much? What's a goddamn doctor know?"

And Joshua, be careful asking any fat person if they're pregnant!

derek said...

How could I forget

"Look at this kid. Something I try to teach all my boys. Always put one in the brain."